(I am currently unrepped for books; if you are an agent and wish to consider representing me, give me a shout.)
God is a Woman: Dating Disasters -- I re-live my hilarious misadventures with women as a touring comedian. Stories include celebrities such as Drew Carey and Damon Wayans, and a slew of women who try to run me over in their cars, hide from me in restrooms, have sex with me on a lawn by Wrigleyfield after a Cubs game, and so forth. Been #1 in humor on Amazon in Canada, #1 on their site in the UK in relationships, and is even being translated into Russian. (Published by Firefly Glow Publishing in English speaking countries.)
Lunch is Not a Date: Get Comfortable with Women not Your Game -- A complete guide for meeting and dating women. No lines, no silly rules, no newsletter, no dvd's, no seminars, and no, I don't want your email so I can bug you to buy more stuff. Simply the best advice to be successful with women. Based on my column and personal stories of success and failure with women. (Not published yet, release date to be determined. Currently pitching. Yes, there will be an advice book for women, too.)
Ladies of Freewill -- Three of my contest-winning screenplays restructured and placed in a book. The women characters are intriguing and not driven by emotion, as is typical of women in literature and film (enough already!). (Not published yet, release date to be determined. Currently pitching. Scripts included are Never Born, Amber Alert, and The Unthinkable.)
Undisclosed project. (The potential for this project is big. It involves a horrible crime being committed daily in the U.S that affects all of us and we don't know about it until it happens to us; by then, it is too late. I know from firsthand experience.) Publishers and agents, contact me directly to learn about this project.
Screenplays
Repped by Kathy Muraviov of The Muraviov Company. She is my manager. Agents feel free to contact me for consideration, as well. For a copy of a full script please contact Kathy Muraviov. Her complete contact information is under "Merchandise/Contact." I am also available for works-for-hire and have written two to date. (*indicates top contest placer.)
Amber Alert (aka No Letting Go)*
Genre: Action/Thriller/Drama/Mystery
Length: 105 Pages
Budget: Large
Primary Cast: One male, four females
In the vein of: “The Fugitive”
Logline: A man finds himself entangled in a bizarre mystery when he tries to return a kidnapped baby.
Suggested Tagline: For them, there is no letting go.
Synopsis: Pilot Luke Kaminskey arrives home a day early to find his barren wife with a kidnapped baby she claims she found in a dumpster. Empathetic, he decides to return the baby alone, but has a car accident along the way. He awakes in the hospital under arrest, baby dead, wife murdered… *Winner HSI's August 2004 Contest
Stanley
Genre: Slapstick Comedy/Comedy/Satire
Length: 99 Pages
Budget: Moderate
Primary Cast: Three males, two females
In the vein of: “Airplane,” “Baseketball," “The Naked Gun”
Logline: A Mississippi franchise team shocks the world by winning the Stanley Cup; then themselves by misplacing it!
Suggested Tagline: America’s newest team?
Synopsis: Powered by a bunch of misplaced Canadians and cheered on by tailgaters who grill squirrels, the Jackson Jackalopes shock the world by becoming the latest NHL champs. During the tradition in which each player gets twenty-four hours with the Stanley Cup, a group of local-yokels steal it. Now the team, led by their naive captain Charlie Henricks, has to pull together and find the Cup before the league and the world find out… or they’ll prove themselves to be the joke everyone thought they were before they won.
Play the Game*
Genre: Romantic Comedy/Dating Comedy/Comedy
Length: 104 Pages
Budget: Low
Primary Cast: Four males, two females
In the vein of: “Hitch," “Swingers”
Logline: A comedian quits the road to meet his true love.
Suggested Tagline: Why guys behave like guys.
Synopsis: Tyler Woodruff enjoys a pleasurable life as a successful headlining standup comedian that would make anyone jealous. He is frustrated, though, that his life is not conducive to dating, let alone finding his one true love. He quits comedy to find her, only to learn that dating is a game… one which he doesn’t want to play. *Second place HSI's September 2004 Contest
Never Born*
Genre: Supernatural Thriller/Horror Thriller/Psychological Thriller
Length: 99 Pages
Budget: Low
Primary Cast: One female, one entity
In the vein of: “The Sixth Sense," “The Others," “The Ring," “The Grudge”
Logline: An elite assassin becomes haunted after inadvertently killing a fetus.
Suggested Tagline: Don’t forget your soul... they haven’t.
Synopsis: Available only upon request. *Second place HSI's July 2005 Contest
The Unthinkable
Genre: Psychological Thriller/Drama/Mystery
Length: 106 Pages
Budget: Low to Medium
Primary Cast: Two males, two females
In the vein of: “Fatal Attraction," "Unfaithful," "Malice"
Logline: A serial killer finds love and stops killing... until spouse and child are kidnapped.
Suggested Tagline: Love finds a way.
Synopsis: All Scott Levornik ever wanted was true love. Finally, he finds it. But his road to love is paved with bodies. When a vengeful stranger from his past kidnaps his wife and child, Scott has to find a way to get them back, returning a killer to some old habits…
Super Flaws
Genre: Animated, Family
Length: 95 Pages
Budget: Standard
Primary Cast: Lots of Drawing
In the vein of: “The Incredibles," “Shrek," “Finding Nemo”
Logline: Available only upon request.
Suggested Tagline: Flaws are Fabulous.
Synopsis: Available only upon request.
REAP
Genre: Dark Horror Thriller
Length: 101 Pages
Budget: Low
Primary Cast: Two males
In the vein of: “Saw," "Seven"
Logline: A self-absorbed star is forced to solicit victims for a serial torturer who's abducted his son.
Suggested Tagline: You reap what you sow.
Teen Asylum
Genre: Horror/Teen Horror
Length: 92 Pages
Budget: Very Low
Primary Cast: Two Females, One male
In the vein of: “House of Wax," "Friday the 13th"
Logline: A group of teenagers clean up an abandoned insane asylum in order to throw a party to raise money for Spring Break, only to learn it's not completely abandoned...
Suggested Tagline: Do you hear the voices?
Penance*
Genre: Drama
Length: 98 Pages
Budget: Low to Mid
Primary Cast: Two Males
In the vein of: “Ghost," "Defending Your Life"
Logline: Work-for-hire script. Please contact Ian directly for further information. Was a semi-finalist in the Illinois Screenwriting Contest, 2006.
